Lupus and Lifestyle: Dealing with your Weak Spots
That's right. Turns out, I can't resist them. Not even a little bit.
I now know this penchant for MCBs goes back to my childhood. But I didn't remember that until I made a batch recently, and my family and I devoured three quarters of them instantly.
Maybe it's because it was the first dessert my mom taught me to make.💓
Maybe it's the addictive combination of chocolate, coconut and sweetened condensed milk.
Or maybe it's just because they're so, so good.
I've always prided myself on my will power. It's just something that I'm good at exercising. But there's always a weak link. Count MCBs as a one of those links.
Even when I think back to my flare-filled days with lupus, I can definitely pick out my #1 weakness for dealing with active disease. It revealed itself at work and at home, with the kids or when out with friends, on weekends and on vacation. My weakness?
Overdoing it.
Every time.
My tendency to overdo manifested the most when my combination of meds would fully kick in, and I'd have a few pain-free, fatigue-free hours or days. I'd go bananas - trying to fit everything in that I'd missed out on when my joints were aching and swollen, and fatigue was at its worst.
Over time, I learned that managing this single weakness was the key to rebuilding a healthy life with lupus in tow.
I started scaling back. I created boundaries. I started each day anew - regardless of how I'd slipped up the day before - recommitting to putting my health first, and my agenda second.
But a mindset transformation doesn't happen overnight.
I remember the first day back to the office after being hospitalized and out of work for almost 3 weeks. My boss and I agreed that I should come in for only 4-6 hours instead of my normal 8-10 hours. He and I both agreed I needed to ease back into it. Allow my body to ramp up. Avoid setting off another debilitating flare.
My hours that first day? 8a to 8p. I literally couldn't make myself leave. My willpower was useless over my drive and determination to perform, catch up, and prove myself.
Having failed miserably the first day, my second day back, I started at 10a, with plans to leave at 4p. I stayed until after 8p again.
I'm sure adrenaline was involved. And excitement. And prednisone.
But I learned very quickly that I had to create boundaries for myself that would prevent me from overdoing it.
So on day three, I started my day at 2pm...and left a reasonable time later.
As I caught up with work, and started listening to my body, I realized I was most effective when I was rested. And healthy. And asymptomatic.
The boundaries worked.
So did starting each day with the intention to live better than the day before.
Journaling helped, too. I could keep myself accountable, and learn from my missteps.
The single most effective method to practicing restraint and staying healthy was to experience success. If I tried some version of scaling back, and it worked, I'd feel better. I'd be clear-headed enough to objectively identify what I'd done well. Then I'd replicate what was working. And I'd see a pattern of success emerge.
When you're flaring, it is sooo hard to think clearly. I know. I remember that dazed fog where you're just desperately trying to make it through. So it's much easier to establish boundaries ahead of time - stick to them, experience the results, and then see things as they really are.
And I subconsciously did this for the batch of MCBs I made.
Boundary: I only made a half of a batch - less to devour (though devour we did!)
Reset: On day two, I woke up, planning not to have any bars before 12pm. While that was a fail, I'd at least tried to restart the day with healthy expectations.
Pattern: When I saw the lack of restraint pattern emerge, I packed up the remaining bars and sent them off to school with my daughter to share at lunch.
Instant success. Instant learning opportunity.
Until the next time. I mean, look at how scrumptious those things are!
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