Friday, October 11, 2013

Productivity, lupus-style: Sleeping the day away...

On the surface, Wednesday of this past week was a waste: I had trouble falling asleep the night before, Darwin got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (our fault, not his), and Deirdre woke up about an hour earlier than normal. By the time I got up that morning, I felt anything but rested. I took one look at the list of things I'd wanted to accomplish that day, and felt like I was already behind schedule, given the sleepy fog I was in.

By about mid-morning, I was overcome by fatigue (not lupus fatigue, just not-enough-sleep fatigue), so I took an hour cat nap, which helped tremendously. (Thank you, Angelina Ballerina.) Of course, that hour of down-time threw off my morning to-do's even more than my sluggishness, but I figured I'd be able to make it up that afternoon.  I still planned to take my standard afternoon nap, but I'd hoped for a second short cat nap, giving me a solid couple of hours to work while a babysitter was with the girls. 

Unfortunately, that's not the way things happened. When I laid down for my afternoon nap,  I slept not one, not two, but almost three straight hours, including every single minute the babysitter had been there. My grand plans for getting things done vanished; I simply had to chalk up the day as a complete waste.

Or did I? 

Maybe the day wasn't as much of a waste, as much as it was a wash. 

After all, if I'd let my fatigue go unchecked, my lupus activity would have been in full gear by the end of the day. And how productive would I have been then? Or for days afterward? 

I'm actually glad I allowed myself to sleep when I needed to...so that I could keep disease activity at bay. 

I'm also glad I wasn't too proud to let Bernadette watch a movie for an hour in the morning...so that I could rest, and be a better mom in the end because of it.  

I'm glad I had a babysitter booked in the afternoon...so that I could sleep as long as I needed to. 

I'm glad I have a "job" that allows me the flexibility I need...thankfully, my pillbag orders and book requests could wait a few hours. 

I'm glad I'm no longer "blinded by the list", realizing that an untouched to-do list might actually be a good thing...if it's a sign of choosing well, despite lupus. 

And I'm really glad I have a pug dog who makes me feel like napping for four hours in the day is a fabulous idea. 

In the end, I believe that while it might have been a very un-productive day, work-wise, it was a very productive day, lupus-wise. 

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