Picking up the pieces: Life with Lupus after losing a loved one

Well, here I am. Writing my first blog post since my dear, wonderful dad passed away on Friday, March 29th, 2019. 

I've thought about what this would feel like since the day my dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer (Glioblastoma) last July. I knew there would be a time after his passing when I would have to pick up the pieces, and start again. 

But you never know how much you will hurt, or how difficult it will be. You can never truly imagine what that hole will feel like until it's there. 

I am thankful to have spent nearly every single day for the last nine months with my dad. We said everything we needed to say, and loved right up until the moment he took his last breath. I miss him terribly, but believe that my relationship with my dad isn't over now, it's just different. 

I am a changed person, for sure. I can see how my approach to life has been altered because of my experience with my dad, and I look forward to sharing many of the lessons I learned along the way. Accompanying my kind and loving father on the final leg of his life here on earth will mark the beginning of a new time in mine. A time that I hope will bring more more reflection, greater appreciation,  and deeper gratitude.  

So as I retire my cancer caretaking responsibilities,  I restart where I left off  - continuing to care for my mom who will keep living with us, picking up my efforts to grow my business, and devoting myself to life as a wife and mother. 

This is my "new normal", as we often say in the lupus community.  Back to living, but with a twist. 

I know my dad will be with me every step of the way.