Living With Lupus: Eliminate the Shoulds - #lupusin60 Read more...


Lupus in 60 -- Eliminate the "Shoulds"I had a million things to do today. Things I needed to. Things I could have done. Things I should have done. But as I geared up to tackle my to-do list, I found myself unable to motivate. Instead, I sat here, looking out at the water, sipping a cup of tea. I just didn't want to pull myself away. I couldn't pull myself away.  So I decided maybe I shouldn't.  

I was reminded of an important aspect of managing life with a chronic illness.  I call it "Eliminating the "Shoulds". Every time I tell myself I "should" do something, I pause. Is this something that really has to happen? Is it an absolute necessity? Will there be serious consequences if it doesn't happen at this very moment? This objectivity is vital during a flare, but I find it equally as important when my disease is under control. Because managing my "shoulds" helps to manage my disease. 

When I put my physical and mental health first, I'm able to prioritize in a way that works with my disease, rather than against it. Instead of running one last errand that could wait until tomorrow, sending another email that isn't expected until later, or struggling to fold that last load of laundry,  I make a conscious choice to ignore the "should" I hear in my head.  Instead, I use those extra moments to relax, regroup, or even just to breathe. My cup of tea was just what I needed this morning.  I may even shrug off a "should" again tomorrow! 

Comments

shirley jackson said…
It took years for me to allow myself to not feel guilty nor depressed that I was not getting my list completed each day, week, or month. Congratulations to you.
Sara Gorman said…
Thx for sharing! It takes a consistent effort to remind ourselves, doesn't it? But then there are peaceful moments like these, and we know we are on the right path. Take care!

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