Friday, April 19, 2013

Good decision making - let the habit begin!


We've been working on making "good decisions" in our household lately. Deirdre, unfortunately, has been dabbling in the world of bad decision-making, including, but not limited to, coloring on furniture with crayons. She tends to have an accomplice during her escapades - her 4-year cousin - and the two of them can cook up trouble faster than you can believe. But, they both seem committed to rehabilitating themselves. A bit reluctantly, perhaps, but they are only four. We'll give them a little time.

Dee's recent errors in judgment have encouraged me to look at my actions, to make sure I'm making good decisions, particularly when it comes to taking care of myself. I put myself to the test just last week, when Johnny made plans for an afternoon at the ballpark. We had a babysitter scheduled for that morning, but I hadn't planned on having her stay all day. I figured I could just tough it out during nap time: I'd get Deirdre set with a movie, put Bernie down for a nap, and just pray that everyone did what they were supposed to do for an hour and a half. That isn't always enough of a rest for me, but I'd decided to just deal with it for one day.

And then I thought of Deirdre.

The best way to hold her to good decision-making is to make a few good ones myself. So that's what I did. I put pride (and money) aside, and asked my babysitter to stay for an extra few hours. I DESPISE doing that - because not only am I paying someone while I nap, it just makes me feel like I'm not capable of taking care of my girls. (I know, I know. But let me finish.)

But it was a small price to pay. I got in a great nap, Deirdre got to play outside instead of being cooped up with a movie, and Bernie awoke to find a babysitter who was ready and willing to play, rather than a mom who was longing for more rest.

The day ended well - and having gained momentum with that good decision, I decided to ask my sitter to come back THIS weekend to help me again. Johnny has another afternoon away, and while I toyed with the idea of just pushing through...I decided I'd rather have a repeat performance from last week.

I guess good decisions can be habit-forming. Let's just hope Deirdre and her cousin agree!



4 comments:

Akuna Kumara said...

ah yes 4yr olds I remember the well. they seem to have reached that point of seeing how far they can push the rules....and well so it's how the learn limits. Enjoy Them Regardless

Sara Gorman said...

Ah yes. Boundaries. dee and her cousin are pushing them for sure! 99% of the time, though, they're sweet as pie, so i think we'll keep them. :) thanks for sharing!

Ashley Ashbee said...

Hi Sara!

I am glad you not only discovered the benefits of a few more hours of babysitting, but learned to not feel guilty about it. If you need it, you need it. I'm so glad that you found a routine that helps you! I think if you have health issues, it is incredibly empowering to find patterns of living that help you feel better and live more fully.

I have some chronic health issues myself and identifying healthy patterns and living them has helped my feel better physically also reduced the feeling of helplessness that can be so intense when you're chronically unwell with no cure.

I am new to your blog -- and so happy I found it! Cheers!

-Ashley

Sara Gorman said...

Ashley - Thanks for commenting! Guilt used to be a very difficult thing for me to sidestep...but I'm getting better at it. Take care - I hope you're doing well!