Table of Contents

The fight of my life
Why this book?
A healthy definition
The steps to living well:
Choose Well
Chronic Control
Look Within
Listen Up, Doc
Communicate Wisely
Ask for and Accept Help
Let Go for Good
Life after Lupus

Chapter 1: Choose Well
The reality of life with lupus
Confronting your fears & recognizing your choices
The power of change
THE FIRST CHOICE: imagining a better future
THE SECOND CHOICE: managing the role of lupus within
your new future

Chapter 2: Chronic Control
SETTLE FOR NOTHING LESS: the need to identify the cause and effect in your life
Coming to terms with your disease through order and method
Recognizing the benefi ts of the spreadsheet
Making the tracking system work for you
Tracking system options:
Chronic control chart
Body outline
Value of the day
Exercise rating
Book highlights
The routine rut

Chapter 3: Look Within
The fighter instinct
Scouting out the opposition
Problematic trait #1: productivity
* Refocusing your productivity: giving yourself a pacelift
Prioritize your activities
Eliminate should
Focus your energy on the present task
Problematic trait #2: determination
*Refocusing your determination: learning to compromise
Ease into it
Indulge, but wisely
Practice not being perfect
Problematic trait #3: optimism
*Refocusing your optimism: breaking the spell
Make it relative
Keep a journal
Rate the day
Problematic trait #4: control
*Refocusing your control: loosening the reins
Realize it is not your fault
Control the role
Find new ways to contribute
Self-awareness to the rescue

Chapter 4: Listen Up, Doc!
Making it work
Keys to a better relationship
Be assertive
Ask questions
Take someone along
Seek clarity through recap and review
Be honest and specific
React reasonably
Doctors are real people, too
Is it working? Decide for yourself
Other helpful hints
Create your own medical network
Utilize your network
Choose a network captain
Good doctors are out there

Chapter 5: Communicate Wisely
The benefits of engaging others through open communication
Increased support
Value of another viewpoint
The challenges of engaging others through open communication
Your optimism may be misinterpreted
You may be more sensitive
Some people may not know how to react
The steps to better communication
Prepare to understand
Plan to be patient
Consider the feelings of others
Assume the best, not the worst
The dreaded question
Top five reasons why you hate it:
You can only answer the same question so many times without becoming annoyed.
When you respond truthfully to the question, people react poorly.
The people you think should want to hear every detail of your answer don’t want to hear it.
You’re too spent to answer the question right now.
It is against your nature to talk about such discouraging subjects like how bad you feel.

Chapter 6: Ask For and Accept Help
Guidelines for letting go
Distinguish between voluntary and involuntary decisions
Give yourself permission
Alter your perspective
Evaluating your productivity
In the workplace
Be upfront
Take the initiative
Present solutions
Eliminating stress
Set boundaries
Make relaxing a priority
Don’t hesitate to ask
Double check your medications
Keep the essentials packed
Use your time wisely
Get help
Enlisting help
Helping yourself

Chapter 7: Let Go For Good
OBSTACLE #1: my appearance
Reevaluate your methods for getting what you want
Reevaluate your expectations
OBSTACLE #2: my plans for pregnancy
Reevaluate the source of your guilt
Letting go for good: putting it into practice
OBSTACLE #3: my job

Chapter 8: Life after Lupus
An appreciation
An attitude
An acceptance
A purpose
Enjoying the new you
The unexpected journey


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