Thursday, December 31, 2009

Steps to living well in the new year

I've had the pleasure of talking with several people over the past few weeks, all of whom have taken a vow of "living well" in the coming year. How do they plan to achieve their goals? Here are just a few of the collective steps they'll be taking. Inspiring, aren't they?

- Seeking a 2nd opinion from a specialist who might provide answers to a medical enigma
- Talking to a boss about making accommodations in the office
- Signing up to have groceries delivered
- Finding a babysitter to come in a couple of hours a week to get a much-needed break
- Hiring a cleaning lady to help with household chores as their third little one is on the way
- Accepting help from a family member who has been begging to assist
- Trying out a support group meeting in the New Year
- Being assertive with the doctor - enough that he takes notice of the recurring foot pain that's been around for way too long
- Being firm (yet tactful) with family when it comes to their opinions about "all of those medications."

Have any to add? Let me know at sara@despitelupus.com

5 comments:

  1. So, I love your list of everything to do, I have one question though. It's not the amount of medications I take but the fact that I'm "sick" at all that my family has a hard time with. I come from a family of all girls. Two of us have had some serious health problems and the other two think we are hypocondriacs! How do you get them to believe that sometimes you just aren't "feeling up to it" when they plan activities?

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  2. That's a tough one. In fact, I can't really speak from experience. Although I did run into a couple of folks at work who just couldn't understand that even though I looked well, I felt awful, and therefore might not be able to work, my communication difficulties with family were the opposite - they were SO protective and limiting that I had trouble getting them to let me just "live".

    The folks at work were easier to work around than family might be - and I had a supervisor to intervene for me and set them straight. Come to think of it, is there someone else in the family who could explain your situation? I often found that working through another person worked wonders - sometimes there's just too much emotion floating around between family members to have normal, productive conversations. Perhaps
    if someone else comes to bat for you, your naysaying sisters will hear what's being said, rather than being so skeptical when the words come from you.

    The most important thing, in my opinion, is that you stick to your guns and continue to curtail your activity when you need to. You know what you need to do to keep lupus at bay...don't let anyone convince you to push yourself beyond your limits. Then you'll REALLy not feel up to it!

    Best wishes - SG

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  3. Very good advice! Although there isn't a lot of communication between us unless they "need" something from me. Like recently we have been discussing my dad's future (his Alzheimer's is progressing rapidly). They asked me if he could come live with me for a few months. Although I have the room...are you kidding me....Somedays I can't even take care of myself! How am I supposed to take care of an 80 year old man with Alzheimer's and Diabetes? Needless to say, as tactfully as I could I had to let them know, that wasn't an option for me. As much as I love my dad, I'm in no postition to care for him right now. Sorry, I don't mean to vent all of my frustrations to ya, it just feels good to have someone to talk to who actually understands the disease. I have an appt. with my new Rhumetologist next week, Wish Me Luck!

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  4. I cannot advocate the delivery of groceries more. It is a dream and for 5-8 dollars for delivery? It is SO worth it.

    I would love to have a cleaning lady too just to spare my family, but they are pretty resourceful. I do get tired of watching them clean sometimes tho'.

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  5. Marilyn I feel your pain and hurt I have sisters that think its a hoax , one & mom that deals denial, last one that wants to control me because Iam not doing this right. Is it jealously over attention or fear it could happen to them and their girls. It runs in our family. My motherinlaw just wants me to get over this. So if you need to vent blog here or journal. Your new kitchen is great.

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